Oh The Irony....

So. Look at my last Blog from March... It's about Listening. Hmmmmmmmmmm...as most of you know, I suffered a concussion. I suffered this concussion because I wasn't listening to Trevor. There are a lot of emotions that run through the mind when one is injured in a rather serious fashion, especially by a fall from one's own horse. Here is the rundown...Trevor was IN A MOOD. It was a side of him I hadn't seen in a long while. He was fussy, pogo-sticking around not wanting to do anything. He had some minor rearing moments and I just sent him forward. I chose to work on the walk & trot since he kept having "moments." Had it been anybody else, i would have had him/her get off and work through the issue in-hand. I broke my own rule. He did settle a bit and I was just about done. There was another horse that just started working in the arena and she had a woo-hoo! moment behind Trevor. Well, I've experienced those woo-hoos before and just hunkered in for the ride. Well. I HUNKERED. Then Trevor turned right and turned right again, only this time straight up. I was sure we were going ass-over-teakettle...but...only I did. And landed on my head. I was in the air and then on the ground. I remember thinking, "there's my saddle." My left foot was stuck in the stirrup and I was being dragged as Trevor looked at me like "WHAT! are you doing down there!" That was REALLY scary. Luckily, my stirrup leather slipped out and I was free. THAT was when he decided to run around like a nut. He finally looked at me, recognized me, and let me catch him. I adjusted my saddle and helmet (the crank blew open in impact) and got back on. We rode for another few minutes and then I was dizzy, so I got off. We stood there for another 10-15 minutes and he (we) processed, or "cooked," over the situation. Then he cooked some more on the standing on the wall. It has taken me about 5 weeks to recover from the concussion. I can't imagine what would have happened without the helmet. I have a soft spot on my head where the actual impact. It used to make me sick when I touched it. Not so much anymore. The effects of concussion were i n t e r e s t i n g. I wanted to close myself off from the world. Stimulation of any kind was difficult to deal with. I moved like I was walking though molasses. I was nausated. I was dizzy. I was carsick. I had to step back and let my self heal. That was a something new for me to learn. I had a hard time making decisions. I was REALLY tired. No appetite. Doctor's orders (I had a CT to make sure I wasn't bleeding in my brain) were that I couldn't ride for 10 days...I waited almost three weeks. That's how long the dizziness lasted. I figured if I was dizzy, getting on a horse was pretty damn d.u.m.b. As far as Trevor...He was cautious around me for a couple days. He was subdued, yet fussy. We went back to relaxation and lunge work since I couldn't ride anyway. As he was worked, our sessions were productive. I had his teeth floated before I chose to ride him. Our first ride was quiet and FUN! I thought I was going to be really nervous with those memories, but I was really glad to be back in the saddle. The rides we have had have been VERY GOOD. We went to a show at the end of April. I was able to work through his anxiety by allowing him to process his stress while I was on him and create a quiet space for both of us. Our first test was ok (before we relaxed), our second test was wonderful (after we relaxed). Mishaps with our ponies can be VERY HUMBLING. However, each time we have "moments" with them, it is an opportunity to learn and create another way of being with them. I now feel that if I get on Trevor and he is IN A MOOD...I will choose another way of going with him and work the issue from a different angle. I still like to change up our working sessions and not do the same thing over and over. I do know that I don't ever want to have another concussion. I will continue to create new ways of being with Trevor so I can be aware when he (or I) is (am) not up for what I have in mind.